New Year’s Resolutions for the Rich and Powerful

With 2021 in full swing we are starting to make our annual New Years’ resolutions. Some of us have vowed to exercise more, eat healthier, pick up a new hobby, or set aside more time to spend with family and friends. Many, if not most of us, have already broken our promises a few days into January. Since New Year’s resolutions are destined to be broken, I found it quite odd that the political elites who have been trying for months to manipulate and control us using COVID as their excuse have not made any – at least yet. I, being someone who ­cares about them (just like they always say they care about us), decided to help them out.

Here are some New Year’s resolution suggestions I have proposed for a variety of our “moral betters”: The Media, Big Tech, Academia, Congress, and Joe Biden. I bet they will thank me by silencing me and forcing me to stay at home with nothing aside from a participation trophy, cookie crumbs, and $600 of hush money – just watch.

The Media Actually cover the Biden administration

I will put aside the fact that they blatantly refused to report virtually any positive story about President Trump. His impressive five Noble Peace Prize nominations? Not newsworthy. The roaring success of his administration’s Operation Warp Speed which developed not one but two COVID vaccines in an unprecedented six months? Nope. The historic low unemployment and booming economy we had pre-pandemic? “Nah,” they said. Let’s talk about how he may or may not have used business write-offs and loopholes to pay only $750 in taxes one year. Seriously, who cares. We, everyday Americans, have better things to care about, like paying our own bills after the government shut our workplaces down (more on this later).

The mainstream media was relentless when it came to President Trump. They promoted tall tales about Russia and Ukraine and ridiculously smeared the staunchly America-first President as a “foreign asset” (I seriously cannot make this stuff up, it’s that absurd). This is all while they completely ignored stories about a high-profile Democratic congressman who is actually a foreign asset, and Joe Biden’s own son Hunter who in fact partook in shady business dealings with – you guessed it, Russia and Ukraine.

But it’s a new year and almost certainly (barring a miracle on Wednesday) the start of a new administration, so I’ll give the media a pass on all of this. It’s time to start over with a blank slate and trust that all the animosity and rage our independent, impartial, and unbiased journalists had for Trump will be there for Biden whenever he does something wrong. I’m not asking the media to brutally go after him as they went after Trump (believe me, no human being should ever be treated like that, ever), but to just hold him accountable and fact-check him at all times. Isn’t that just the media doing its job?

But as of now, it seems like all the media is interested in with regards to covering Biden is asking about how his foot injury is healing. Looks like they have all of 2021 to prove me wrong – better get at it and to quote Ben Shapiro, start “journalisming.”

Big TechDo not censor stories harmful to Democrats and flag Republican talking points as “disinformation”

Now we go to the corporate media’s cousin, the tech giants of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Google. They already lost a substantial amount of their conservative user base last year to their emerging pro-free speech and pro-privacy rivals Parler, Rumble, and DuckDuckGo. I have a brilliant idea for them to reverse this trend and regain the monopoly they held near and dear for over a decade – stop censoring conservative thought.

It sounds simple, but trust me, it’s a giant task for guys like Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey. In the last few months, Facebook and Google were caught censoring conservative content while favoring and promoting opposing progressive material. Twitter for a while back in October went to great lengths to completely prevent anyone from posting, retweeting, or even DMing the New York Post’s articles on Hunter Biden’s business dealings. They argued that it was somehow all a bunch of Russian misinformation, which is pretty funny because Russia was actually one of the very countries from which the Biden family likely took money. The real reason was that the Post broke the story right before the election and it did not fit the left’s narrative – how dare anyone spread a story that could help the big bad orange man get re-elected?

In addition to all of this, we’ve had enough of big tech’s campaign to prevent people from even discussing the apparent irregularities in our last presidential election. Between blue text beneath tweets saying that the election was called for Biden (like we need them to remind us) to disclaimers underneath any right-leaning election-related YouTube video warning about “robust safeguards” to our democratic processes. Seriously, it’s 2021 – who even uses the word “robust” anymore besides big tech and Olive Garden when they describe the “flavors” of their bizarre pseudo-Italian food?

This year, how about big tech showing that they support the First Amendment and allow people to express themselves regardless of their political views? Leave it to us adults to make our own determinations of what is fact and what is fiction, without their pathetic attempts of pretending to be our parents and to know better than us.

AcademiaStop discriminating against conservative students

Colleges today like to say that they are all about “tolerance” and protecting people from having their feelings hurt by the truth. Administrators have made it clear that they are not interested in schools being a place for open debate, discussion, and for ideas to be exchanged and challenged in a free and positive environment. Nope. They’d rather shelter their few loudest students from ideas they don’t like as shown through the implementation of safe spaces, free speech zones, and trigger warnings.

However, big academia does not practice what they preach. See, there is one group that they’re openly intolerant of – conservatives. They say they’re all for diversity but when it comes to diversity of thought it’s a choice between leftism and leftism. In 2020 alone there were many instances of conservative students being savagely targeted by other students enabled by “progressive” faculty and administration. 

At Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles, an elected student body senator was impeached for the crime of being openly pro-Trump. It didn’t matter that she was both a woman and a minority, the left’s identity politics only applies to them. In ASU’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism, the radio station’s student manager was fired when she shared a New York Post article (yes, it’s always the Post – maybe because unlike other sources, they actually do their job and report the facts) that included information that ran counter to the left’s narrative.

Did the students cry or retreat to a safe space in either of these cases? No. Interesting.

CongressAt least pretend to care about the American people

I am not alone at POP in that my dream job is to run for U.S. Congress one day. I understand that it is not a popular job, but someone has to do it and it might as well be me. At times our woefully incompetent legislative branch has recorded a lower approval rating than Genghis Khan, head lice, and Nickelback (which is actually an okay band, but I digress).

2020 showed just how Congress has epically failed us plain and simple. After being complicit in shutting down people’s businesses, rendering millions of Americans jobless and unable to provide for their families, all in the name of “controlling COVID,” they responded by giving us literally crumbs – two meager stimulus payments, which worked out to around $6 per person per day, during the duration of the still ongoing lockdowns. This is, in my opinion, in many ways worse than had they given us nothing. As the always cynical Matt Walsh put it, what the D.C. “swamp” gave us little people was akin to when he worked as a pizza delivery boy and a dissatisfied customer gave him a nickel as a tip. The two stimulus bills were our lawmakers sneering at us. The second bill was almost six thousand pages long and added over a trillion dollars to the national debt with the vast majority of it being useless pork and foreign aid that did absolutely nothing to help the American people reeling from the effects of the COVID lockdowns. And the fact that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi held up the second stimulus for purely political reasons is outright disgraceful.

But don’t fear, Pelosi and the rest of her newly-sworn in 117th Congress’s leadership is already instituting some reforms – they are making it a point to use “gender-inclusive” language on the House floor. For example, they ended their prayer to open the new session with amen – and “a-woman.” It’s almost like a Babylon Bee story became real life.

Joe BidenKnow where you are

This goes without saying.

The POP family wishes you a happy and healthy 2021! May this be a better year than 2020 was!

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